Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
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Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
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He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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