He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
God, I missed his penis.
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