Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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