you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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