roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
