why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So many bounce houses so little time
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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