I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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