1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it penis luge time yet?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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