I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Semen is not good for contacts.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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