hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
