Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
