My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
