You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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