i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize