We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He kissed a someone with a penis
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
