He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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