Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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