CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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