I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
