Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
