Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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