You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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