ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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