let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize