well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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