apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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