Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
