He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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