So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize