Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
