sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize