All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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