butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
