i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
