there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
