Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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