took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
