And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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