you're like a bully in the Christmas story
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
