he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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