tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize