im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
