good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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