He is an equal opportunity slut.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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