I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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