Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
