I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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