There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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