The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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