office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
