You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
and you fell through a lawn chair
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
