Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
They have beer where we have blood.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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