I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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