i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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