she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
