Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
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theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
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My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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