I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
bring money and cleavage
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
